Communicate Positively With Children
Start communicating effectively while children are young. Before parents and their children can communicate, both must feel comfortable enough to do so. While their children are very young, parents should begin setting the stage for open, effective communication. Parents can do this by making themselves available to their children when they have questions or just want to talk. Furthermore, parents who provide their children with plenty of love, understanding and acceptance are helping to create a climate for open communication. Children who feel loved and accepted by their parents are more likely to open up and share their thoughts, feelings, and concerns with their parents.
Communicate at your children's level. When parents communicate with their children, it is important for them to come down to their children's level both verbally and physically. Verbally, parents should try to use age-appropriate language that their children can easily understand. With younger children, this can be done by using simple words.
Learn how to really listen. Listening is a skill that must be learned and practiced. Listening is an important part of effective communication.
Make and maintain eye contact. Parents who do this are showing their children that they are involved and interested. Children might get just the opposite message that their parents are not interested in what they're saying if minimal eye contact is made.
Eliminate distractions. When children express a desire to talk, parents should give them their undivided attention. They should put aside what they were doing, face their children, and give them their undivided attention.
Listen with a closed mouth. Parents should try to keep the interruptions to a minimum while their children are speaking. They can offer encouragement, for example through a smile or a touch, without interrupting.
Let your children know they have been heard. After children are finished speaking, parents can show them that they have been listening by restating what was said, only in slightly different words.
Keep conversations brief. The younger children are, the more difficult it is for them to sit through long speeches. One good rule for parents is to speak to young children for no longer than 30 seconds, then ask them to comment on what was said. The goal is for parents to pass on information a little at a time while checking that their children are paying attention to and understanding what is being said at regular intervals.
Ask the right questions. Some questions help conversations along, while some can stop conversations dead in their tracks. Parents should try to ask open-ended questions in their conversations with their children.
Express your own feelings and ideas when communicating with children. For communication to be effective, it must be a two way street. Not only must parents be available to and listen to their children for effective communication to take place; they must also be willing to share their own thoughts and feelings with their children.
Regularly schedule family meetings or times to talk. One very useful communication tool for families with older children is the regularly scheduled time to talk.
Admit it when you don't know something. When children ask questions that their parents can't answer, they should admit that they don't know. Parents can use such instances as learning experiences.
Try to make explanations complete. When answering their children's questions, parents should try to give them as much information as they need, even if the topic is something parents don't feel comfortable discussing.
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